If you walk away, I'll walk away...

So I'm sure anybody who's reading this knows that an unexpected turn of events has left me single. I'm not going to delve into it a whole lot, because I don't really know if I could be very articulate about my feelings yet. However, it's a good time for poetry. Some of this is old, some of it is new.


Untitled (I wrote this about a month ago, surprisingly, before the break-up. It seems to fit though.)

Then you left my side
with that look in your eyes
afraid that you wouldn't come back.

I twiddled my thumbs
my mouth feeling numb
and my heart screaming with fear.

No more words to say
just a look and a stay
and a last long squeeze of your hand.

And I left your side
with a look in my eye
knowing it will never be the same.

Yellow Trees (This and the next one were both written within the past couple days)

We met in a place
that we'd never been,
underneath yellow trees
between two logs hidden.

And we held each other
like never before,
underneath yellow trees
on a rocky shore.

We clung onto something
that just wasn't there,
I cried on your shoulder
and you stroked my hair.

After the last kiss
and walking apart,
we turned our backs
and walked off in the dark.

My eyes kept clouding
with a vision of your face,
I fought all those details
they kept falling in place.

I felt like the scene
after a storm had gone through,
the life gone from everything
made to start anew.

Picking up my pieces
my home swept away,
I need to let go of you
but I want you to stay.

So this morning, a heavy frost
snuck into my heart,
I'm afraid if it thaws
I'll fall completely apart.

Even if it hurts
I'm letting it stay,
since underneath yellow trees,
you and your love walked away.

The Window (Yep, same rhyme scheme as the last one. Sorry.)

The window we found on walk
fall leaves beneath our boots,
it stared at us with hopeful eyes
through dust and dirt and roots.

When we walked behind the window
I was curious to see,
what was behind those hopeful eyes?
It was our future- you and me.

Now I've decided to visit
that clairvoyant place again,
the muddy prints beneath the frost
are all the leaves have left.

Those hopeful eyes still gazed at me
more melancholy in them now,
maybe it was my imagination
or the surrounding snowy boughs.

I didn't need to search behind it
to know what I wouldn't find,
I went ahead and looked there still
but to provide my peace of mind.

And I realized then
no miracle happened there,
just my own hopeful eyes
and my own hopeful stare.

The past can be forgotten
but it cannot be replaced,
bits and pieces are left standing
never to be erased.

(And that's it for now.)

The inspiration for that last one was an actual window left standing that we found one day.

Again- criticism is appreciated!
No definition of perfection this time. Heh. Kind of difficult to find that right now, although I don't doubt it exists.

Perfection (Don't read this if you aren't in the mood for something sappy!)

Take heed of the warning in the title before you continue.

So, I've been having a hard time keeping up the blog, but it's really something I want to continue. I'm new to this, so forgive me if I write something that's completely uninteresting to you. I really only want to write things that are interesting to me, and often times I don't think about what's interesting to me, I just... am interested. Heh. I don't know if that makes sense, but whatevs.

I keep on thinking about what I want out of life. I mean, really, who doesn't? Lately, though, it seems it's all I think about anymore. So I decided to make a list. I might add to it as time goes on, but this is what I have for now.

All I really want out of life:

-I want to become a successful dancer. To me, this is not becoming prima ballerina in the New York Ballet. As much as I know that would be an amazing job, it's not what I want, and I know it's not realistic. To me, being a successful dancer would be to perform in an interesting company that's not afraid to do it's own thing for a little while, and then showcasing my choreography in a couple of well-attended shows.

-I want to own a cafe/bakery. I don't care when. Just at some point, I want to get really good at making coffee, tea, and baked goods.

-I want to not have to hide things about myself that I'm not ashamed of. I want to get better at not caring what others think.

-I want to learn how to paint things I think are beautiful.

-I want to do a temple stay at a buddhist temple. It doesn't have to be for long, maybe just a month.

-I want to see Neil Gaiman. I'd love to see the Shins but I don't think that will ever happen, seeing as James Mercer is doing the whole Broken Bells thing now. I want to keep going to shows when I'm older, and I don't want to be stuck in a certain decade for the rest of my life.

-I want to get voice lessons and get better at singing, and not be afraid to sing in front of people when I want to.

-I want to travel as much as I can, read as much as I can, and write as much as I can. It doesn't have to be published, although that would be nice.

-I want to end up living somewhere that I can see the stars at night. I want to have a pet goat, and a pet rabbit. I don't have to be wealthy, just well-off.

-I want to not be afraid of change. I want to be able to better myself all the time, and not reach an age and then just give up at being better. I want to always be myself, but I believe that "myself" can change, and should in some aspects.

These are just what I'm thinking about right now. They are subject to change. Not all of them may be realized, but I hope they are.
What got me thinking of this was what I'm going to call today's definition of perfection. The boyfriend and I went to Port Townsend today to get breakfast at Metro Bagels, and just bum around a bit, and when we got our (amazing!) breakfast bagels, with egg, cheese, avocado and butter, (mine on an everything bagel with onion) and our coffees, Cole said, "This is all I really want out of life. An awesome breakfast bagel and my girlfriend to share it with."

So, today's definition of perfection for me is: An awesome breakfast bagel and my boyfriend to share it with. ^^
I'll continue putting down occasional definitions of perfection, because I feel like they keep coming up, different all the time. That's all for now!